Style Invitational Week 1481: Mess With Our Heads
It's our recurring contest to comically misinterpret a headline. Plus the winners of our contest for creative reviews of everyday Walmart products.
Real headline: Burger King Says Russian Operator ‘Refused’ to Close Hundreds of Restaurants
Bob Staake’s bank head: Manager Maintains That Keeping Them Open Provided Greater Punishment
(Illustration by Bob Staake for The Post)
—If you’re not yet getting this newsletter by email (or if you got dropped because you didn’t expressly opt in since we moved over to Substack): By all means …
It’s another go at one of the Empress’s favorite contests: In Week 1481, Reinterpret some actual headline (or a major part of it) by adding a bank head, or subtitle, as in the example above. You can use any headline from any publication, print or online, that’s dated from March 24 to April 4. Deadline for Week 1481: Monday night, April 4.
If you’re new to Mess With Our Heads, be sure to check out the guidelines and advice in my supplementary column, The Style Conversational. I also share last year’s winners, which were particularly funny … well, the MWOH results are always particularly funny. (And there’s also Bob’s sketch for an entry that wouldn’t pass the Cartoon Taste Test.)
Then we have this week’s results, for reviews of such items on Walmart.com as Great Value white sandwich bread, a shoehorn, an alarm clock, a clear plastic box, a roll of duct tape, and more.
Like this terse one for the white bread:
“Good texture, but too spicy! Two stars – MPence1959”
LINKS TO …
This week's Invitational column, Week 1481, and results of Week 1477
The same column for non-subscribers (but do sign up — there are always great promotions going on!)
No-paywall entry form for Week 1481
This week’s Style Conversational column
Still running -- deadline Monday night, March 28: Write a comically fake definition for any of the words on our list of obscure, archaic English words like “galp” and “fankle.” See Week 1480 here; see the no-paywall entry form here.
More ways to enjoy The Style Invitational and be part of the Loser Community:
Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook and the Devs will anagram your name every which way.
Also on Facebook, the Style Invitational Ink of the Day page presents one classic entry as a colorful graphic that's easy to share. "Like" the page to get it regularly on your news feed, or to scroll through the archives. bit.ly/inkofday.
And we're now on Season 2 of the You're Invited podcast, half-hour episodes with host Mike Gips and various Invite luminaries. Catch all 18 episodes at bit.ly/invite-podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
— Pat Myers, Empress of The Style Invitational, pat.myers@washpost.com (or just reply to this email)
*That's Loser with a capital L; named for the runner-up prizes emblazoned "LOSER," the community of regular Style Invitational entrants now proudly calls itself the Losers. If you enter the Invite, you're a Genuine Loser. But not (necessarily) a loser.