Style Invitational Week 1498: Vs. is for Verses
Write a funny poem that misuses a word (or, let's say, it uses your own novel meaning)
My kids used to sleep on stacked single beds,
While they dreamed and rested their sweet little heads.
But they brought in the noise and brought in the funk,
So now I'm afraid it is time to debunk. (Poem by Sarah Walsh; cartoon by by Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
—If you’re not yet getting this free newsletter by email (or if you got dropped because you didn’t expressly opt in since we moved over to Substack): By all means …
This week’s Style Invitational results are for funny poems using words from this year’s National Spelling Bee — and we have everything from “pigsney” (sweetheart, of course) to “golilla” (not an ape but a ruffy collar). But one rule was that the word had to be used with its real meaning.
But in this week’s contest, the rule’s the opposite: For Week 1498, write a short (eight lines or fewer), humorous poem that uses one or more words in other than their actual meanings, as in “debunk” above. Deadline is Monday night, Aug. 1.
We haven’t done a misuse-a-word poetry contest before, but in my supplementary column The Style Conversational I share some classic ink from contests in which the Losers redefined existing words in the same way. Like:
Rubberneckers: A couple practicing very safe sex.
Biceps: Half of a forceps.
Pituitary: So foul-tasting you have to spit it out.
You can use any of the old ones for your poem as long as you add some flair and originality in turning it into verse.
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LINKS TO …
This week’s Invitational column, Week 1498, with the results of Week 1494
The same column for non-subscribers (but do sign up — there are always great promotions going on!)
This week’s Style Conversational column
Paywall-free entry form for Week 1498
Still running -- deadline Monday night, July 28: Week 1497 is a “what-if” contest: tell us humorously what would happen if something had happened differently in history, or if the world were different now in some particular way. Like: What if there were an alternate universe where your cat did not follow you to the bathroom? You’d just sit there and talk to yourself, I guess. Paywall-free entry form for Week 1497.
More ways to enjoy The Style Invitational and be part of the Loser Community:
Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook and the Devs will anagram your name every which way.
Also on Facebook, the Style Invitational Ink of the Day page presents one classic entry as a colorful graphic that's easy to share. "Like" the page to get it regularly on your news feed, or to scroll through the archives. bit.ly/inkofday.
And we have two seasons’ worth of the You're Invited podcast, half-hour episodes with host Mike Gips and various Invite luminaries. Catch all 18 episodes at bit.ly/invite-podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
— Pat Myers, Empress of The Style Invitational, pat.myers@washpost.com (or just reply to this email)
*That's Loser with a capital L; named for the runner-up prizes emblazoned "LOSER," the community of regular Style Invitational entrants now proudly calls itself the Losers. If you enter the Invite, you're a Genuine Loser. But not (necessarily) a loser.