Style Invitational Week 1517: LOLmark cards
Greeting-card rhymes for non-greeting-card events. (Plus some sad news.)
Cartoon by Bob Staake for The Washington Post.
—We’ll be publishing at least one more post here — some Greatest Hits of The Style Invitational. If you’d like a link to it next Thursday, then…
Today you are You, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is youer than you.
Yet I’ve stolen your wallet, your identity too —
Very soon I’ll seem so much more youer than you!
By Karen Lambert
That lovely Seussical sentiment by an identity thief takes the (suddenly) final Clowning Achievement trophy of The Style Invitational. See 19 other non-greeting-cards — for occasions ranging from Your C-Section to Your Russian Army Conscription — in this week’s Style Invitational, Week 1517.
Some news, though: As part of a shake-up to “revitalize” The Washington Post’s Style section, this week’s Invite will be its penultimate one. (Sorry about the contests that were in progress; I’m going to try to give light to at least the Ask Backwards contest of Week 1514 next week, in some way.) Next week: A greatest-hits selection from The Style Invitational’s enormous 29 3/4-year archive of classic edgy humor — and we welcome you to tell us your favorites. On the entry form are links to the archives, if you’d like to scroll or search for that one entry that always made you crack up — even if you wrote it. (Plus a quickie bonus contest involving clown heads.)
In my supplementary column, The Style Conversational, I share some thoughts and clarify some things about the Invite’s imminent demise. But I also tell how the Loser Community will stay together and continue to share their wit. (Including at an upcoming party.)
I don’t suppose I’ll be posting on this Substack newsletter after next week’s final column, but I’ll leave it open with all the newsletters with their links to past Style Invitational contests. I hope you enjoyed their humor as much as I have.
Pat Myers
The Empress of The Style Invitational
P.S. Always feel free to message me through the Substack links provided.
LINKS TO …
This week’s Invitational column, Week 1517, with the results of Week 1513
Paywall-free entry form for Week 1517
The same column for non-subscribers (but do sign up — there are always great promotions going on!)
This week’s Style Conversational column
The Convo for non-subscribers
More ways to enjoy The Style Invitational and be part of the Loser Community:
Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook and the Devs will anagram your name every which way — and will quite likely start sharing more of their original humor, and even perhaps run informal contests.
Also on Facebook, the Style Invitational Ink of the Day page presents one classic entry as a colorful graphic that's easy to share. Follow the page to get it regularly on your news feed, or to scroll through the archives. bit.ly/inkofday.
And we have two seasons’ worth of the You're Invited podcast, half-hour episodes with host Mike Gips and various Invite luminaries. Catch all 18 episodes at bit.ly/invite-podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
— Pat Myers, Empress of The Style Invitational, pat.myers@washpost.com (or just reply to this email; this email address will work through Dec. 31.)
*That's Loser with a capital L; named for the runner-up prizes emblazoned "LOSER," the community of regular Style Invitational entrants now proudly calls itself the Losers. If you enter the Invite, you're a Genuine Loser. But not (necessarily) a loser.
"Revitalize"? That's what the SI did for us each week for almost 30 years. So is humor being cancelled along with critical thinking? Or maybe the SI editors want to be certain that newspapers die completely? We applaud Pat Myers for how she kept us entertained when all the other news is dire. A sad, misguided decision, Post.
Though I entered only once, blissfully unsuccessfully, this column has been a favorite. It’s so dumb of The Post to nuke this column and others that engaged readers across the country. In a tech-drenched world, this melded wit and awareness in a way that somehow made bleak events, especially one presidential term, bearable. Hail, Empress. Many thanks for your reign.